The Dagmar Perspective

Originally Posted on April 13, 2025

I almost didn’t go. That’s the part I don’t want to skip over; the part where I, a grown woman in her 30s, nearly canceled a tropical vacation 24 hours before departure because I panicked after reading several bad hotel reviews on Google Maps the night before my flight. The photos looked nice and the swim up pool bar looked novel. But the Google reviews were brutal; on person said their phone was stolen, someone else got sick from the food, and another person mentioned how they couldn’t sleep because of how loud the partiers were at night. Suddenly my brain decided I was about to fly to an unsafe location with no escape route.

Cue the anxiety spiral. What if I felt unsafe? What if I got sick? What if I was kidnapped? What if I just… hated being alone?

Solo travel sounds empowering in theory. But in reality, when you’re lying in bed the night before a trip, travel stress playing tug-of-war with your logic, it can feel terrifying.

It wasn’t my first time traveling alone, but it was the first time in several years. And the first time doing it not out of necessity (like attending a conference), but by choice. That felt different. Scarier. And maybe more important.

The first day, I was still anxious. I kept replaying worst-case scenarios and trying to plan my entire itinerary down to the hour so I wouldn’t feel aimless. I scouted every corner of the resort for friendly faces to bond with and briefly contemplated befriending a Canadian couple sitting next to me at the pool just so I wouldn’t have to eat dinner alone. But over time, something shifted.

Maybe it was the sun. Maybe it was the fact that no one expected anything from me. But I started to relax. To observe. To breathe. To choose what I wanted to do, not for anyone else’s enjoyment or opinion, just mine.

I went to the pool when I wanted, I people-watched, I journaled, I read books, I even identified a few birds using the Cornell University ornithology app Merlin Bird ID (which I highly recommend everyone download on their phone).

Was it a little lonely at times? Yes. I won’t pretend I didn’t miss having someone to share the little moments with (the “look at that guy’s tattoo” kind of glances, or the debrief of the day over dessert). I prefer traveling with people; I prefer shared laughter, joint memories, the comfort of companionship. But still… I did it. And I enjoyed myself.

I didn’t have a life-altering Eat Pray Love awakening. I did prove something to myself: that I can do this. That I can trust myself to navigate uncertainty, to handle anxiety, to be flexible when things aren’t perfect.

I had fun; Not the “fun because everyone else is having fun” kind, but the kind where I felt present. There’s something deeply grounding about doing something scary and walking out the other side thinking, Okay – I can handle this.

Traveling solo reminded me that confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about moving through the fear and proving to yourself, moment by moment, that you can do hard things. You can have your own back. You can book the flight and have a good time.

And sometimes, you might even come home with a sunburn, a few bird photos, and a little more belief in yourself than you started with.

Dagmar